Sharing a Room

When Tracen turned 2 we specifically got him bunk beds as his new big boy bed. I was pregnant with Skylor and knew I wanted them to share a room one day.

I use to beg my mom for bunk beds growing up. She always said fine but you will have to share a room with your brother. I never liked that idea so I always passed when she made that comment.

Ever since we moved Tracen out from his crib and into his bed he's been in our bed 90% of the time. If he sleeps through the night in his own bed we know it's because he was exhausted from the day before.

Skylor is three and a half is still going strong sleeping in his crib. When we moved into our new house he was about 8 months old and strictly bed shared or co-slept  next to us. I had him in his crib for the occasional nap but he never actually slept in his crib. When we moved I think Jerek said something like 'we should probably put Sky in his own bed now right? Don't you want to have the bed to ourselves again?' I most likely looked at him and laughed because it wasn't like Tracen really slept in his bed, so who cared if there was one or two in our bed, the more the merrier in my opinion!

If it's not broke, don't fix it. That's how the saying goes right?

Anywho.

Sky has never crawled or fallen out of his crib, he loves his bed! When he was little we would be in the living room and he'd point to the ceiling and say night night, meaning he wanted us to take him upstairs to his room and put him to bed. Yes, my child use to ASK me to go to bed.

You can see why I'm having a hard time saying bye to the crib.

Sky will stay up for an hour or more after we put him to bed and play PJ masks with his stuffed animals. I'm sure you've seen on Snap or a vlog where I'm standing outside his bedroom recording him yelling "you'll never get me PJ Masks! mauhhahahahah"  Some nights he goes to bed with a couple plastic dinosaurs, a huge monster truck and a couple books.

So many parents are all like 'you let him bring toys to bed? It's bedtime though, he needs to sleep'

I will politely let them know that my kid has been sleeping through the night since he was a few months old and usually at 12 hours a day with a 2-3 hour nap. Ask me again if I care that he brings the whole damn toy box to bed.

No. No I do not care!

Jerek bought the boys new bed sheets for Christmas and when I asked him what size he got Skylor (crib or twin) he said Paw Patrol and then I think whispered twin and held his breath. He knows I'm dreading the change from the crib to a bed.

I know I know, it's probably time but I literally can't let go of this kid. Sometimes I pick up 18 month old clothes and put them in my cart at Target and convince myself that's his size. I bought an Ergo for $8 at a mom to mom sale the other week (in mint condition, a steal really!) and carried Sky around the farmers market in it.

I'm a lunatic, I get it.

I've been going back and forth on when we will transition him to the new bed and here are the options I'm dealing with.

1. Take bunk beds apart (Tracen refuses to sleep on the top) and put them side by side in Tracen's current room and make them a new room (Tracen's is bigger) New paint, decorations etc. It would be THEIR new room together, the big boy's room.

2. Take bunk beds apart and put one in Sky's room. Redo his room to make it a big boy room with new decorations, paint, etc.

3. Buy another king size bed and make our bedroom one big old bed-sharing room for all of us to sleep in and never let them grow up.

I personally like option 3, Jerek, not so much.

Now here are my concerns with these options.

1. I STILL have to sit in Tracen's room till he passes out at night or he won't go to sleep. As long as I do, it takes about 15 min after I say good night and he's out. If I add Sky into the room he would stay up for probably 45 min after lights out and play. Which I don't care about but this would probably keep Tracen up, which would then keep me in there till they both passed out, which would then cut into my time watching Shameless spending time with Jerek.

2. If we put Skylor in Tracen's room I don't know if Tracen will get all crazy and say this isn't YOUR room, this is MY room and then resent me for it and go crazy

3. Will I be mentally stable if this all goes well and the kids stop coming into our bed at 2am and will you find me on the floor of their new room sleeping with them.

As you can see I'm clearly insane and we should probably just keep things the way they are. I promise to stop buying infant carriers for kids that are half my height and we can all move on with our lives.


Sincerely,

Lost-and-confused-on-how-you-let-your-kids-grow-up-but-still-try-and-stay-semi-sane

Etsy Shop Story + Giveaway

In December of 2012 I was newly pregnant with Skylor and I jumped on Etsy to sell jewelry I was already making for myself.  It was something I did before starting my blog that I enjoyed. Shortly after I started blogging and recording our lives here and on YouTube and I scaled back on Etsy and threw myself into learning everything about video editing, shooting and writing.

In 2015 I didn't enjoy making jewelry anymore and I made a growth chart to track the boys heights. I started selling these to local moms and families all over the US. I quickly realized how much I hated USPS as they ruined 5 of my orders, upset my customers and myself, so I stopped making them all together.

One day I was on Instagram and came across the cliche #boymom t-shirts. I had been looking for boymom shirts for a while but HATED the design and price of these ones. It was basic Hanes T-shirt with an ugly font. I think she was charging like $52 or something ridiculous.

Hell to the no!

In true Chelsea form I said I can totally make something better.

So I did.

Clothing is something I've loved since I was little so creating my own shirts wasn't that strange of an idea for me. I originally went to school in Chicago for Fashion Merchandising when I was 18 before I transferring to GVSU. This wasn't a new passion of mine, maybe just one that was pushed aside when I had kids.

So just like that the first 'house of boys' shirt was created, followed by 'house of girls' and 'house of twins' which are sold out currently. The house of boys shirts started flying off the shelf, I literally couldn't keep up with the demand sometimes. Apparently boy moms want everyone to know they are a boy mom. I get it though, because living in a houseful of boys is like living in a frat house!

Speaking of frat houses...

As the months went by I started keeping a list in my phone of funny or clever things I wanted to print on shirts, not just for adults, but for kids too. The next boy mom shirt I created was "I run a frat house shirt." Just like the house of boys shirts the orders were coming in left and right, sometimes people were buying both at the same time, it was awesome to see those notifications on my phone! A cash register noise would ding and sometimes Jerek would yell from the other room" you got another sale!" It's very exciting feeling.

Today these are my two best selling shirts, it makes me even more proud to be a boy mom.

I started to make a couple more shirts that were geared toward motherhood and not just for families that had kids of the same gender like the house of boys were designed for. In came the "Eat Sleep Mom Repeat" and the "Embrace the chaos-mommyhood" shirts.

Next up was the wedding related shirts, after all, I was planning my own wedding! I kept seeing the normal "Mrs." or "married!" tee's and I just didn't like them, I wanted something different.  So I had created the 'girlfriend fiancée' shirts and then a week later the Wifed Up shirt was then born.

The funny thing is, I get more orders of women ordering the wifed up shirts for their soon to be husbands to wear on their honeymoon! I love it! A design that most people buy to wear the day after they get married they tell me.

On June 5, 2015 I sold my first shirt. It's been a little over a year and I'm 3 sales away from 500 sales! It's exciting and hard work, all while I work in corporate full time, run my videography business and blog/vlog! I'm starting to look into trade marking, expanding in both kids and adult items and possibly selling in local shops!

One of the frustrating things I've stumbled across is a big Instagram account that started making house of boy shirts way after I did. While the designs aren't the same, I can't help but get a little butt hurt that I created them long before they did. Such is life though ya know! I realize that these things happen all the time and I'm starting to see how I can trade mark certain ones, be better about marketing and also open my own website so I'm not just tied to Etsy.

This has been my goal for a while now; a online store that is more than just Etsy. I've been working insanely hard on new logo, a new website and working with wholesalers to bring in other clothing then just my t-shirts! You guys, this is the stuff I learned in college and dreamed about doing, working for a company, buying clothes that you would see in shops. The reality is, I don't have to work for someone else to do this, I just had to do the research on how I could work for myself!

You guys know that I've been rocking the capsule wardrobe life for over 6 months now. So the pieces that will be added into the shop will be perfect additions to any wardrobe! They will be based around neutrals, simple patterns, and great for moms that want to spice up their yoga pant wardrobe! I'm so excited about whats to come, it's going to be a real online store and maybe one day I'll have a little shop, a brick and mortar store! A girl can dream, err wait, no no, a girl can WORK TOWARDS IT! I don't dream here, I just do!

With that being said, keep your eyes open for more announcement's regarding the shop! You can also follow along on the new/separate Instagram for the shop; East + Willow. There will be sneak peaks of new shirts, new clothing, accessories, coupon codes and big announcements so make sure to follow along!

To celebrate almost being at my 500th sale I'm doing a giveaway of 2 Eat Sleep Mom Repeat in the exclusive muscle tanks! It's crazy to think there are hundreds of people all over the world wearing something I created. As a thank you to all past and future customers, I'm also offering 10% off all orders for till August 19th with the code THANKYOUSALE.

Love you guys and cheers to East + Willow!!!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Happy Third Birthday, Skylor!

Three years ago I waddled into the labor and delivery room at 8pm, praying I was over 5cm dilated. I had been walking around at 4cm for two weeks and taking care of a toddler like that is exhausting! Sure enough I was at a 6 and admitted. About 4 hours later with a push, a laugh and a smile you were here! Born at 37 weeks you were a whopping 8lbs 6 ounces! I was in awe at how easy it all was this time around!

From the beginning Sky has always been an easy, go with the flow baby. He was easy to feed, easy to soothe, and easy to put down for bed.  I wore him everywhere we went, he rarely got upset and took Tracen's 2 year old rough housing like a champ. He will play in his crib for hours, reading books, and playing with his stuffed animals. When he's ready he will yell for you to come get him, giddy with excitement he always says I SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU!

His personality shines through his smile but he's very mellow kid (this may sound like an oxymoron but it's not!) He hates the sun, is very much a homebody, quite the opposite of a true Leo baby! His emotions are big when he is enjoying something, he will squeal with excitement about it being soooooo good or sooooo fun! When you're not expecting it, he will say I need a hug and hug you so hard and smile afterwards. He loves Ducati and Jerek the most, would lay around on the couch with them for days if he could. 

Sky is sweet and light hearted, a lover of food and smiles! Everyone always says Tracen looks like Jerek but it's uncanny how much Skylor and him look alike at this age! The days go by so fast and I remember this very moment as if it was yesterday! I can't believe you are already three baby Sky Sky!

Sometimes I wonder why I do this to myself! Rummaging through all the old photos and videos makes me so incredibly emotional! But also SO happy that I've been documenting it all and not just via photos but through videos too. Videos show stories and emotions that can sometimes be lost in photos years later. We are having his party on Sunday and surprising him with a new helmut and scooter! Like most things with second kids, he gets a lot of hand me downs. I figured hopefully something shiny and new will up his excitement and maybe get him to walk again. He got his cast off last week and has yet to walk, so fingers crossed!

Happy birthday Skylor Vance, to the littlest of my house of boys!

| 1st birthday video  | 2nd birthday video  |

To the parents the night before you have your first baby

Today one of my best friends from college is bringing her son into this world! She's jumped through numerous hurdles and surgeries to get to this point, one she's dreamed about. Every time I talk to her she's so positive and strong after these long and tiring years, I'm so incredibly proud and happy for her!

Last night I went to send Meg a text since I knew he'd be here today, something funny about how today would go but I had to pause mid thumb type. Tracen was crying because he was soooooo bored and Skylor was pulling on my hand yelling let me show youuuuu which really means, come with me to the fridge so I can tell you what I want to eat...again. I was frustrated because I just wanted a minute to send her a message but I couldn't because they needed me.

A couple hours passed and I was sitting down in my favorite part of the couch (the corner!) waiting for Jerek to come join me so we could stay up far too late and watch The Game of Thrones. I started to type out things like "get some rest, tomorrow is going to be amazing but exhausting!" and then I stopped. She didn't need to hear that. The past couple years of surgeries have been exhausting. The hours and days spent in doctor offices have been exhausting. The countless shots, medications and procedures have been exhausting. This, this was the exciting part! Being exhausted because you were up all night with a baby is nothing compared to how tired she's been in the past. She didn't need to hear me telling her things like that, so I deleted the text and started over.

Your lives have already changed forever as you've been growing this little guy for months now! Tomorrow everything is just set into play; things get more real and even more fun! You're going to be exhausted, you'll cry over literally nothing and everything at the same time! But if I can give you any advice it would be to smile every day you wake up. 

There will be really hard days, days you don't think you'll get through. And days where you don't want to put him to bed because he's just so much fun! Days where you want to kick Jason out of house and days where YOU just want to leave and sneak away from it all. But mostly there will be days of laughter and smiles, barfing and poop explosions! 

There will be days of firsts and lasts. Days you feel fat and days you think no one understands what you're feeling. Remember, you can always ask for help, whether it's someone close that can physically help or someone far away that is needed as a sounding board! Always ask for help, never feel bad about doing so. If you want Jason to do something, TELL HIM, he's no mind reader. I love you guys so incredibly much. I can't wait for you to feel the emotions we've been feeling over these last 5 years, they are incredible! It beats any other feeling in the entire world!

Our conversation went on as we talked about how we both were so excited and I couldn't wait to meet him this summer. After we said bye I thought about how long and hard the day was. The boys were exhausting; they literally were a whiny hot mess ALL.DAY.LONG. I was happy to finally sit on the couch and watch a show I wanted to watch and snuggle up with Jer. To not have to get anyone but myself a damn drink, that's the stuff you sometimes day dream about!

But as I've said before the days, months and years go by fast. Tracen starts kindergarten soon and Sky will be three in a few months. Life before them was fun and amazing but no one told me the night before I gave birth how truly wonderful it all would be. So remember to be kind in what you say to the expecting. They know they will be tired, they know it will be hard and they also know how exciting this journey will be!

Congrats Megan and Jason, this ride is a fun one <3 

Motherhood and Friendships

High school is different than college and college is different than parenthood.

Acquaintances are nice to have but friends are even better. 

I've had a wide range of friends in my life for as long as I can remember. In high school I never felt clumped into a category. I had friends I played soccer with, friends in band, theater, choir and cheer. Friends that didn't play a single sport, friends that liked to stay in and not go out on a Friday night. I had friends still from elementary, friends from other schools and friends that went too church.

In college I still held onto some friendships from high school, but as some started to fade new ones grew and blossomed. There were many times friendships started over, rekindled and revived simply by a course of events, a communication barrier that was broken and then fixed.

Then there are others that faded further into the realm of darkness. There's been a few times where I wish I would have stepped back, and fought harder for friendships because like all things in life, some things are worth fighting for. Without dwelling on the past I've learned that like high school and college, life after parenthood will change too. 

After graduation you are faced with the ever revolving question of "so what's next?"

It's a question I consciously have to make sure I don't ask others, that one question haunted me for many years. As I slaved away at a tanning booth, office job and a restaurant, all at once, I saw friends landing "real jobs" and it was a constant reminder that I still felt lost in the post college tornado; desperately wanting out.

I've since landed a job that I currently call my career so that question no longer weighs on me.

Having kids before majority of my friends did though. You will find many meme's that say things like "want to know who your true friends are, have kids." While I believe this is semi true I think it really depends on where you are in life.

When I had Tracen I was 25 and most of my friends were either single, just getting engaged and still going out a ton. It was lonely on my end. I was at home most nights, not making great money and if people called it was 10 minutes before they were doing it.

I needed things to be scheduled, a time frame to follow, to allow me to coordinate who will watch Tracen. No one understood that, no one but Jerek. I remember many nights crying to him, wondering if things would ever change. Then one day things just got better. I started understanding that some nights people weren't calling me not because I had a baby but because they too were just staying at home watching Netflix. I started making sure I reached out as well, planned things and kept in touch.

Friendship is a two way street. You are not allowed to each give 50%, you must both give 100%.

Now at 29 with two kids Jerek and I do our best to each go out with friends while the other stays home. We rely on family 100% for date nights so we make those count. Our friends stop by and hang out for a bit to see us and the boys and catch up. While they may never realize how much it means to us, it truly does. We may be wiping someones ass but your 30 minute stop ins are like a breath of fresh air!  We try and make trips to friends house when we can, we plan brunches, cider mill and shopping trips. We put in the effort to see each other and while some months are harder for me to keep in touch than others, I know that my girlfriends understand and thats why my friendships I have currently are strong.

Perhaps you just had a baby and are feeling stressed, remind yourself that it's better to have 4 quarters rather than 100 pennies when it comes to friends. Find your people and put in the effort, no matter how busy you think you are, no matter where you are in your life, make the effort, find your village.

Motherhood is Hard

The lines of motherhood are often blurred between am I a good mom or am I not good enough.

I've found that I often question myself based on things I say or how I react in instances.

Motherhood is a tricky thing and one you will never get right.

You get called a helicopter parent if you hover too much at the playground but then are referred to as lazy for sitting on the bench on your phone. You're judged if you're too "crunchy" or not crunchy enough. Stared at if your car seat is forward facing or eyes rolled at you if it's still reverse at the age of 4.

If you're a stay at home mom your ridiculed for not working by the working moms and the working moms are then talked about in play group, they must not love their kids enough to have someone else 'raise' them. Us unwed mothers get asked if you're still with the 'father', and if you are, the follow up question is always 'so why aren't you married?'

I'm constantly trying to find balance with my my 29 year old self. The one that has friends the same age but not in the same chapter of life. Constantly wondering if the boys are proud of all that I do, all that I juggle. Or quite the opposite, do they think I do too much, or that I'm not around enough.

Every day, every single day, is filled with doubt, insecurities and questions to yourself.

Am I doing this right?

Could I being doing this better?

What do people think of me?

But every day is a new day, one that the past can't be dwelled on but the present can be worked on. We have the options to choose our reactions based on the situations we are presented with. You can choose to be miserable or you can choose to be happy, it's as simple as that. Wake up every morning and tell yourself, I am good mom. Nothing more, nothing less. But believe it, live it. Understand that you have bad days, months and sometimes years. As a parent, this is a race you will never win, but never lose, if you do your best.

Let your actions speak louder than the words you feel like uttering to the old lady at Target. The one that looks at your left hand and then at your cart of children, whose mouths are covered with chocolate and socks that don't match. Do your best at that very moment, no matter how much of a hot mess you may look like on the outside. And remember...

A lion does not concern himself with the opinions of the sheep.

my favorite stage is now

Michigan summer is finally within view and I'm starting to day dream of that packed calendar. One that I don't mind having in all honesty. Working full-time I don't get to see everything that the boys do, in fact I probably get to see about 60% of their lives if I'm being honest with myself. Some days that stresses me out more than others. We are very lucky to have a great daycare and family that watch the boys while we are off working. With the long summer months ahead of us I find myself always saying that I'm looking forward to this or I can't wait till that but how is it I'm never really just content with the now.

When Sky was just a wee blob Jer and I use to talk about how we couldn't wait till he was able to sit up and interact on the floor with Tracen. Then it became we couldn't wait till he could run around and play pretend and lately we've even joked about how nice it's been that Tracen's "job" is to let the dog out when asked. Flash forward from those conversations and we are here, those things are happening and my little baby is no where to be found.

Taking a step back though and realizing all that's happen in the last 5 years is crazy. Time really does fly when you're having fun as cliche as that sounds. Our weekends may be a little boring from time to time as they are filled with grocery shopping, laundry {or lack there of doing} but they are always filled with smiles and laughter and a few smart ass comments from myself to Jerek {how does he even put up with me?!}

Live for today {in German}

When Tracen was a little over a year old I went and got my second tattoo {notice the crazy dark hair!} one I had been wanting for a while. Living in the moment or the day is something I have to constantly remind myself to do, to live for the everyday, and not just the big and exciting things that we tend to always look forward to. At times we can get so caught up on the large goals, the trips we're headed on or the money we're making that we tend to forget about the small things, the everyday things that make us happy or maybe just the things that get us by.

Both boys are growing at such a rapid rate I swear some days I just can't keep up. I find myself wishing Skylor would just be done teething or instantly be potty trained. At these same moments I then realize that he's almost two and where the hell has my baby gone. There are days when they play together so well that I can cook dinner without a peep and I think, this, this is my favorite stage. Every night when I put Tracen to bed and tell him good night I hope that maybe that night will be the night he actually sleeps in his own bed. There have been a handful of mornings I wake up and he's not next to me and I start thinking maybe I should take back everything I said the night before!

No matter what stage you are in make it your favorite. The sleepless nights will pass and maybe they won't but they won't be the end of the world in the greater scheme of things. The neediness of constantly longing to be attached at your hip will subside and they will soon enough be teenagers that you will beg to have dinner with you. Regardless,

BE. HERE. NOW.

Life on a Budget: Groceries

Wait a minute, how is it Friday already? I swear I was just tweeting how it was Monday and I was extra annoyed but non the less...

March 28th we closed on our first home and I swear I've been on the hunt on how to cut costs from all corners. Lately I've been researching the easiest, and most affordable way to do cloth diapering for Sky. Yes, He is 9 1/2 months old and we have been using disposables but Tracen is {unfortunately} still in diapers and I'm about to loose my shit soon with all this diaper buying I've been doing! I've found some good, easy cloth diapering options that I can buy for about $110 for 20 diaper covers (the outer shell part) and about 60 inserts. What is the only problem you ask, proposing this option to Jerek. {dun dun dun} That in itself is a whole other story! My daycare that we use two days a week does do cloth diapering (some don't so this is a bonus!) and for $110 and a little more weekly laundry why WOULDN'T we do it! I spend this amount in a about 2 months for both kids currently.  I really wish we would have just started from the beginning but we can't go back in time can we. I'll keep you updated on this situation as I'm sure it's the highlight of your week reading about if I can convince him or not. The only thing in my favor is that he is a crazy finance/numbers man {does it for a living} and is always trying to save, spend less or pay off debt in some shape or form so I have high hopes for my proposition!

Moving on! Saving money is something we all like to do and when I find something that has worked for me I spread the news like wildfire! I have been known to post coupon hauls on my Instagram letting you know when diapers, shampoo or make-up are mega cheap at CVS. Scoring a good deal is something I LIVE for! When someone comments on a piece of clothing, my stock pile or how am I getting my insurance so cheap I can't wait to explain it to them and share the juicy details.

Take yesterday for example, I go to Meijer to buy basically EVERYTHING because we are bare to the bones for food.When I come home from grocery shopping and try to show Jer my haul and explain all the great deals I find I swear he stares at me like a deer in the headlights! So I decided what better way to share the excitement then with the ones that actually care {your welcome Jer!} This is going to be a little series called Life on a Budget and each post will have a different topic. From home insurance, couponing, mom to mom-ing to groceries, discount codes to shopping, it will be here.

Some weeks I barely have time to throw a grocery list together and some days I can color coordinate my list. This week was more in the color coordinating relm. I had time to make a list, go online to check for coupons and semi- meal plan. I am starting to do an intense 12 week work out plan and start really eating clean so I knew 90% of what I needed for the next two weeks. When I walked in I notice they were having the $10 for 10 deal. Normally this is for a lot of processed foods and I never get that great of a deal but yesterday I rocked it.

Now every body has their own budget for groceries based on their family size and income, but I "try" to keep ours to $150 for two weeks of food. This has grown since Tracen and Skylor eat and don't just drink their calories. Skylor is eating very minimal food right now so he doesn't really cost a lot but Jerek and Tracen eat ridiculous amounts! If I've learned anything from living with boys it is, meal planning is key. When we don't have meals planned we don't buy the right food and we end up making stops every night at the grocery store or eating out. I'm sure you're wondering how I can feed a family of 4 (3.5 really) for two weeks on $150. I'm not saying we don't buy food while at work, out running errands or on the weekends because we do but you need to have a target to aim for.

- Mperks
- Coupon Mom
- A Full Cup


These three websites are what I use for groceries as well as beauty, hair and cleaning products when looking for coupon/deal match ups. Let me explain.

1. MPERKS: this is strictly a Meijer based program. These are coupons that Meijer puts out for items in the store (some Meijer brand as well.) You can use these on top of coupons from the Sunday paper (manufacture coupons). You can virtually clip these to your account and then enter them upon checking out. There is also a app for your phone to do on the go. I usually go through and clip anything I know we use and then print off a list of the ones I clipped and bring in the store with me for reference (or you can look at your phone while shopping.) At checkout you type in your phone number (account number) and your 4 digit passcode and the coupons come off as the cashier is ringing you up.

2. COUPON MOM: this website shows a deal at the store and any manufacture or store coupons/deals that go with that product and do the matching up for you as well as what the final price will be and how much you saved! For a working mom of two this is a life saver. {Below is a snapshot of the current CVS list}

3. A FULL CUP: this website is very interactive as it has discussion boards for people to post their trips and what coupons they used. When I have more time on my hands (ha!) I like to look at this website and get ideas of maybe some deal I might have missed out on or didn't think about when looking at a circular.

Now I know there are a lot of other websites, forums and message boards that people may look at and I'd love to hear about anything you swear by! I have gotten it down to a system as to what I buy at Sams Club vs what I buy at Meijer based on size, price and quantity. As my family grows and their bellies eat me out of the house I refuse to have to buy crap food because it's cheap. When you plan things out and take the time to look at deals it is worth every penny you save.

I know many friends and family members have said they don't have time to cut coupons or read through websites but I'm here to tell you that you do! I work full-time, have two kids, write a blog, run an Etsy store, and still mange to clean, do laundry, see friends, watch TV, spend time with Jer and the boys and sleep {sometimes}! If saving money and feeding your family is important to you then taking 30 minutes before bed to look at Facebook some coupon websites & meal planning should be worth it!

Fun Fact: I haven't bought shampoo, conditioner, tooth paste, tooth brushes, hair products, body wash, deodorant, baby shampoo or baby lotion in about 3 years because I clipped coupons, looked at deals and stock piled for 5 months when pregnant with Tracen! It can be done people!

Motherhood isn't hard

Lately I've been complaining about how Tracen is not potty trained and is regressing from using the toilet at all. In fact he will piss his pants before he sits his tiny white butt cheeks on that thrown. I've wiped his ass more times than I want to remember and the volume of shit he's leaving in his diaper lately are getting bigger by the day. I'm sick of cleaning man craps and wiping the crevices of his balls while he has a full on conversation with me, legs high up in the air. I'd change Skylor's explosive ass ANY day over

With Tracen getting older I'm really trying to teach him right from wrong and it came to my attention the other day that he can lie. He wanted to watch a show and I asked if he was done with his dinner, which he stared at me for a minute and said "uh..yup", smiled and ran to the living room. False kid, you didn't, I can see your plate from here!  I thought this didn't happen until you were 13 and your mom wanted to call the parents where you said you were staying the night but you knew they wouldn't be there and then you're caught in a lie and can't leave the house for the weekend...Anyways, I was talking to Jer the other day how I never want to let the boys walk home from school, to ride their bikes to friends who don't live next door to us and to have them stay in every Friday night with us and watch movies and have Pizza Party Friday for the rest of their lives. Basically make sure they want to hang out with us all.the.time.

Being a parent is seriously the scariest thing I've ever done in my life. The responsibility weighs so heavy on your shoulders that I get sheer anxiety thinking about the future. I see small kids walking home from school on my drive home and think to myself, where are their parents. Then I think back to my childhood and I use to walk home at that age, WITH my six year old brother. WHAT WAS MY MOM THINKING!!! I think back and wonder if she had the same anxiety or if things were just different then. I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to microchip my children. I'M NOT KIDDING. I get peer panic attacks when I see the amber alerts, the CNN reports of shootings and the Facebook status updates of kids overdosing. I'm scared as hell to have these boys grow up! I realize I might sound mental.

With today being Mother's day I feel a little bitter about the topic. I'm a mom to two little {human} boys and one little fur ball {that's on my nerves lately} so you would think I'd be excited but I'm not. It's just a normal day to me. Sure I'm looking forward to getting pedicures with my mom but really I don't need a day for the boys to tell me that they love and appreciate me because honestly I feel this daily and I'm really lucky for that. For me Mother's day makes me think about all the other people in our life that make motherhood easier on me. Being a parent is not a one man circus show, even as a single parent it's not. We constantly rely on others such as daycare providers, family members, friends, neighbors, co-workers, school teachers and even other children. Without these people helping raise our children what would we do. Being a parent is a privilege that many take for granted.

To me there should not be a day that defines me as a mother or Jerek as a father, it's not about who gave birth to these children, the gender or the age, it's about who helps raise them who should be celebrated each and every day. So to all my friends, family and weirdo's in our life...thanks, my head might have fallen off if it wasn't for you. So here it is, an ode to my people, my "mothers'.


Happy Mother's Day to the ones that help raise my children, the ones that make my life better, easier and more enjoyable. To the one that birthed me, grounded me for months on end to teach me right from wrong and didn't give up on me through those hard middle school years. To the one that made me a mother, sticks by me in my craziness and enjoys my weirdness, that takes on the parenting 50% because that's what teammates do.  To the one that gave me Jerek, that raised him right, that loves my boys just as much as she loves her own children. To the ones that watch our boys while we work to provide for them, who watch them when we need a night out, when we looked at 150+ houses, to the ones that have children for them to play with, to the ones that stop by and say hi and understand that although were busy we still value their friendships, to the ones that listen to my stories at work, regardless if they have kids or not, to the ones that give advice when asked for and the ones that provide advice even when I'm unwilling to take it. To the ones that nurture, love and embrace these boys like they are their own. Thank you.

You see motherhood isn't that hard...because I have all of you.

Lies I tell my kids

Everyday we are faced with hard questions that we are forced to answer. And every day Tracen gets smarter and smarter and I have to think of a new lie idea to tell him. Take for instance the 7-11 or "supee store" that we live across from. It's inevidable to be in the car with him coming from any location and NOT have him see it and say "mumma, I want a surpee pease pease pease, triple pease {he got that from Peppa in case you're wondering.} I then look down at the clock, realize its 9am and I'm on my way to get Starbucks and there is no way in hell my kid is drinking a slurpee this early, I don't have the patience to deal with the crazed slurpee Tracen right now.

So I do what any normal mother would do. I lie. When he was around 2 and would scream and point out the window and shake his head up and down I would say "oh sorry honey, it's closed, maybe tomorrow they will be open and we can go." I then follow up with, "but when we get home you can have some ju-ju (juice)." This worked up until a few months ago as he's almost 3 1/2. Now I have a 9 month old in the car with me as well and it's not just Tracen and I jumping out of the car hand in hand skipping across the pavement to go get slurps before dinner when daddy is going to mean mug me when I walk in the door with them {dads a party pooper}. Now its, I have to grab my debit card, get Sky out, and have Tracen hold my hand. Then walk in, get Tracens slurpee for him while holding a small child that keeps trying to grab the slurpee as well as keep my eye on Tracen that he's A. not trying to open candy and eat it and B. not running around the store, he's been known to do both! I then somehow need to carry the baby, the slurpee, have Tracen hold my hand, buckle both kids in and go home. As you can see this shit doesn't fly very often because I have a major meltdown when I grit my teeth and say..."okkkaayyyyyyyy....sureeeee....I guessssss we can..."


So now when he asks and I say sorry it's closed I usually get, "but mumma, all those oder cars are der, I weally think it's open?" The juice option doesn't always work now. So I do the next best thing I can think of, the old "we gotta wait till daddy gets home, he might be sad if he doesn't get to have one too."

Guys, I realize this is probably not a good thing to do but my sanity is at risk here! I honestly don't know how some parents do it! I have a mental breakdown that Tracen is going to get snatched out of the shopping cart in the Target parking lot while I'm putting things into my truck! I go bonkers when he comes to the car to help me get groceries out of the trunk and takes running down the street and I have to chase after him while Sky is strapped in his seat straight chill in the car.

You see I don't really consider these bad lies, more like white lies that my mother told me were okay to tell while growing up, if it didn't hurt someone of course. Sure I may stretch the true to my three year old. I may drive by the park and tell him it's closed, the parks sleeping or this one is only for big kids, kids that are taller than mommy, but it's all for a good cause, right?

I realize one day I'm going to have to just straight up tell him "Sorry dude, were not getting a damn slurpee right now because you didn't eat anything I packed in your lunch, your progress report wasn't great and you hit your brother so no, you don't get one kid." But those days are not here yet and I'm really trying to pick and choose my battles lately. You see, I need a breather, I need a reset, I need some time to not think about making bottles, dinner or spreadsheets. Not doing laundry, not picking up the same toys night after night and not making up reasons as to why Tracen needs to get out of bed so we can be to daycare on time. I need a vacation! But for now, I will attempt to stop lying about the hours of the slurpee store (hell it's 24 hours!) and start gearing up for meltdowns when I calmly say "the slurpee store is open but we aren't going to get one right now *closes eyes and plugs ears*

Detroit Zoo Vlog

Going to work is overrated, so I took three Tuesday's off in a row. #sorrynotsorryboss I did this not because I like coming back to an inbox of 100+ messages after only being out for 24 hours but because it was a much better option than sticking the boys in daycare while our aunt was gone for a few weeks.

These past few weeks of only working four days have been northing short of amazing. I mean who doesn't like sitting around in your pi's, bra-less and sipping on coffee while you know everyone else is at the morning meeting wishing it was 4pm. I can't say that Tracen wasn't a jerk from time to time but over all he was a good little chap.

My girlfriend Sarah or better known as Snydypants, came over and we packed up the boys and headed to the zoo. We have a family pass and the weather showed sunny so I figured lets get movin! Que winds, clouds and coldness and that's what welcomed us as we walked through the gates. I told Tracen we would go unless it was raining so I had to keep my promise, otherwise Jer would call me out for lying to them for being a baby in the wind {wah wah wah}

I ended up vlogging that day so come to watch!

5 Things About Motherhood

Friday was a good Friday in with the boys, everyone was behaved and went to bed rather easy. It's now Sunday and I feel the ever impending stress that Sunday brings to me. We spend Sunday evenings at Jerek's parents, cooking, drinking wine and watching shows while Trace gets some energy out and plays

Last Sunday was NOT a good Sunday. We ended up dragging Tracen out of their house and taking him home sending him straight to bed with no books. He was in a real mood all day and ended up hitting his cousin a few times. No matter what we talked about in time out he disregarded everything I said. So when he was mad at me and just walked by Griffin and smacked him I legit lost my shit. Threw my shoes and coat on, grabbed that kid and put him in the car with me while Jer apologized and grabbed our stuff and we headed home.  I was completely pissed, sad and honestly, embarrassed. I take it personally when he acts like this, like I'm not doing a good job teaching him that we don't hit. I know he was just in a mood but it was unacceptable to me. We got jammies on, had a hug and kiss and told him we can try to listen to mommy better tomorrow and that was that. I never want my kids to go to bed unhappy but I know I made the right move because the first words he said to me the next morning were "I so sowwy I didn't wisten to you yesterday mommy, I pomise I be better" and gave me a big hug and kiss. I melted. I knew I did the right thing because it had an impact on him and he remembered it the next morning.

I contemplated writing an ode to my children about Motherhood and all its glory but I realized that's a load of three-year-old-shit-in-diaper-that-for-some-reason-can't-be-done-on-the-toilet. {I digress}

I figured this would be a perfect time to explain to you new moms, friends that don't understand why I'm a hot mess a lot of the days or for you other moms just to read and shake your head thinking, 'I know exactly what you mean!'

1. {Alarm clocks are not needed}

Yes, it's true, I set 5 different alarms on my phone starting at 4:45am but I don't use them. If Tracen gets up before us, I usually hear a 'MOMMY???? MOMMMMYYYYYYYY...I'm donnnnnnnnnnnnnneeeeeeeeeeee, get me outta hereeeeeeee!" {screaming from the room next door at the baby gate that he is "done sleeping".} We get it Tracen, YOU'RE UP! I know that I will miss this when he's a teenager and NEVER wants to wake up. For the time being it's relatively cute and effective.

2. {You're multilingual}

I use to wonder how the hell my aunt could understand what my cousins' were saying to her when he was two and now I get it. I could probably watch old home videos now and even tell her what he was saying! I often find myself telling family members or friends what Trace is saying after he speaks, they then look at me with a question mark above their head. I know exactly what he is trying to articulate.

3. {You are superwomen}

Some mornings I am holding or feeding a baby, applying mascara, turning on a TV show, wiping someone's ass and checking Instagram all on about 4 hours of sleep with one hand trying to pull my leggings on. Whoever told you you needed two arms to get through life was never a mother.

4. {The meaning of an hour}

Now this can go both ways. An hour can be an eternity or it can be a blink of an eye. If it's a Saturday morning and Tracen wakes up far too early, {530am is never good on the weekends} then bringing him into bed with you and having him watch an hour of Mickey Mouse while you snooze some more can be the difference of your whole mood for the day. You feel refreshed because you got an extra hour of sleep, like you can take on the world! Then there is an hour before you need to leave the house to drop the boys off at daycare and try to get to work on time. No matter how much you prepared the night before it is already 7am and you are still struggling to put new underwear on and wash off yesterdays makeup. Where did the last hour even go?

5. {You give so much and will never ask for anything in return}

I never quite understood what this meant until now. Most people give things to others and expect something back in return, it's human nature. But not when it's for your children. You've been awake for almost 20 hours. You were up the night before with a sick baby, you then head to work for 9 hours, come home to Tracen throwing toys at Sky's face, which forces you to give him a time out to think about why he shouldn't be doing such things. Tracen is asking for a TV show, something to drink, to eat.  Sky needs a new diaper and something to eat as well. Jer is calling because he's going to be late, there's nothing in the house to eat, you have mounds upon mounds of laundry to do, Etsy orders to fill, bottles to clean and you're pretty sure you smell like puke. All you want to do is to sit down on the couch, and wave your white flag. But you don't. Because you have even more to give of yourself to these children then you ever thought you had in you.


*I apologize if you're reading this and getting ready to go out to the bar [I'm sure you aren't though] because this is probably a buzz kill or better yet great birth control for ones not wanting such things in life! Hopefully this doesn't scare you into not having children because I promise the good ALWAYS outweighs the bad!*

A Day In The Life| Friday Nights

|On Wednesday's, we wear pink. 

And on Friday's we order pizza and do nothing|

It's true though. The Friday part. One of the days I look forward to the most are Friday's. Not because it's the weekend and I only have to be a mom and not a full-time working mom, but because I spend these nights with my boys. These days are when pizzas are eaten, good beers are drank and snuggles are given on demand.

I can fondly remember my Friday nights when I was in elementary school. TGIF was nothing short of amazing as a kid in the 90's. My dad was usually working a wedding and my mom was pretending that she knew how to cook [by ordering us pizza]. We were allowed to use TV trays and drink soda on the couch.  We watched almost 3 hours straight of TV and stayed up late. These were nights I will always remember. Nights that I couldn't get out of school fast enough!

I want Trace and Sky to remember everything but traditions are something I'm really working on with them. It's hard enough getting Tracen up and out the door on daycare days so I've figured out that on Fridays I can get him excited for Pizza Party Friday's, as well as myself!

If you're nosey like I am, you will enjoy this. Here's a glimpse of what my Friday's tend to look like.  I usually try and stay up late but end up falling a sleep on the couch while Jer watches some weirdo alien show.

Make Time for YOU

It's Friday night and we've eaten our pizza and drank our beer. Another successful Pizza Party Friday has commenced and were done watching Max and Ruby for the night, it's time for books and snuggles. I finally got Tracen down at 1030pm and I sneak out of his room; exhausted. Work was exhausting. This week was exhausting. I've bathed these kids more times than I can count from the massive shit explosions that covered Sky's legs, back and arm pits. I've washed Tracen's entire bed from top to bottom twice from chucks of puke that range in color. My own room is a complete mess with piles of laundry I couldn't tell you what was clean or not. I feel like no matter how many times I wash those damn bottles they are always sitting in the sink, soaking, waiting to be washed again. I look around at the toys all over the living room floor, the couch cushions are scattered around and I trip on dog toy. I start to make myself some vanilla chamomile tea and am ready to crawl into bed and call it a day. I've been up since 530am and tomorrow we have the house inspection, and a million other things to do.

I walked in the bathroom to brush my teeth and catch a look at my eyebrows. They are a mess. I've been meaning to take care of them. I've been busy.
I look down at my feet and then at my hands and realize I haven't had nail polish on them in a while and that's rare for me. I've been busy.
I gave up the tanning booth a few years ago and I miss my skin from last summer. The memories of the warm sunshine, the glow my skin had and the freckles on my cheeks that come out after being in the sun for an hour. I usually self tan in the winter, but I've been busy.

Day after day, week after week, year after year. Life gets going and it's hard to just stop from the daily grind. We sometimes lose site of what is important to us. Jerek and the boys are my absolute life, they are what makes my world go round. I enjoy my job and the people I work with and even what I do. For that I am truly blessed. But all too often we get down and start noticing things we DON'T like about our lives, our bodies or our jobs. Sometimes it's the time of year, the place you live or the people you are surround by that do this.

Since having kids I've really had to make a point to find time for myself to make sure that I'm happy. Not just for me, but for my family, because an unhappy mommy is an unhappy family. That is why I decided to not go to bed at 1030pm last night. I'm sure I could have used the extra few hours of sleep before Skylor woke up needing me but I had a rough week taking care of sick kids while I didn't feel good myself. Work was tiring and I probably smelt like a combination of diarrhea, puke, and engine oil all week. But now itt was time for me, time to relax, unwind and get back to the basic's.

It's the small things in life that can really ground you, make you appreciate what you have and think less about what you don't.

Spotify has been my recent obsession lately. I turn on one of my favorite playlist, "381 Miles". It's the perfect mix of songs for the night and nothing I'm sick of hearing. I jump in the shower and I'm instantaneously in a better place. I'm calm and allowing myself to actually enjoy the shower unlike my usual 530am ones. I have time for a hair mask while I shave my legs,  two things I haven't had time to do in a while (sorry Jer!) After a 20 minute shower I get out and start with a fake tan, an instant body and mood lifter. I use my St. Tropez Dark Bronzing Mousse followed up by lotion and the color of my skin looks like it's July within minutes after application. This is hands down my favorite fake tan and smells amazing!

I move to my toes and handle those puppies and then on to my hands I go. I've gotten my nails done so many times that I only go to the nail salon for a pedicure. I can do a manicure at home better then any salon and for a lot cheaper! Investing in the right tools and base/top coats are key. Last but not least I do my brows. Now, I'm ready for bed.

It's about midnight and I'm already feeling better about myself and what we have going on these next few days. I feel like I can be a better girlfriend and mother because I took the necessary time to de-stress and get my mind right. As mothers, we stress about everything. It's nights like these, times when you really don't want to do anything but go to sleep, that you need to muster up the energy and do something you enjoy without kids yelling or Peppa the Pig snorting the in the background. You need to make time, MAKE TIME FOR YOU.

Lets Talk Boobs

Let me just start off by saying this; curse all you mama's that can just throw your child(ren) up on your boob and own that shit! No but seriously, a big F U because it's not fair! Let me take a step back, regroup, and explain, in great detail, why I have such a strong hatred jealousy over you all.

It all began with Tracen, I planned on breast feeding with him. No, I did not take any classes, read any book or even Google, "how to breast feed", I was just going to do it and that was that!  Well Tracen came a month early and was rushed to the NICU right after birth and stayed there for 10 long days. I tried to get him to latch on when I would be there but he just couldn't do it. I was then wheeled in a hospital grade breast pump and stuck my nips in that thing and got to work. Once my milk came in I was producing SO. MUCH. MILK. Like you would probably be jealous how much I was getting. I had a stock pile in the fridge and in the freezer. I would bring milk to the hospital 2 times a day and spend time with him while each time I would try to get him to latch on he never would. I decided that I would just pump, how hard could it be, I mean, I'm just sitting at home, recovering right?

WRONG.WRONG.WRONG.

I had bad hip dysplasia for the last 6 weeks of my pregnancy which continued on for the next 5 weeks post giving birth.  In a nutshell I could barely walk. Barely get out of bed. Barely go to the bathroom without being in excruciating pain. I was taking two different pain meds and had to make sure they over lapped each other or I would wake up in the middle of the night screaming and Jer wouldn't know what to do with me.  Try and imagine all that while having to get up every 3 hours to warm up a bottle, change a diaper, feed, burp and then lay baby back down. Oh did I mention after ALL that I still needed to pump my huge tits full of goodness. This whole process took almost 2 hours by the time I crawled walked back to bed. Meaning, I had exactly 1 hour until I was woken back up by a screaming baby to do it all again.

Fast forward 4 months and I was dry as a bone. I'm not sure what exactly happen but one day I remember I was pumping and I only got like 4 ounces total from both sides and I thought to myself, "oh shit, that's odd." Each time after that I felt like I was trying to pump long, faster, harder and I was still only getting maybe 4 ounces. I was starting to freak out and we bought some formula to supplement. I then started giving more formula bottles and less breast milk bottles which then led to just formula bottles.  My stock pile I had bragged about (even posted pictures on Facebook, yeah I was that new mom) was gone, every last ounce. I began to freak out. My old place of employment decided to not let me come back unless it was full-time so I was at home while Jer was working two jobs trying to support us all. On top of all that we were going to have to buy formula! Luckily, a month later, I landed my current job now and we were bringing in a lot more money but still I never 'planned' on ever using formula. 

Fast forward to Nov 2012 when we found out I was pregnant again. We had been trying for a little while now and I swore up and down that I WOULD breast feed my next child NO.MATTER.WHAT.

Skylor was born 3 weeks early and I was scared it was going to be the same game as before.  Although this time I gave birth at a different hospital, a hospital that had a whole lactation wing. A hospital that believed in no paci and only breast feeding. I knew they would help me this time, and they did, but I wasn't prepared for the reality if this baby wouldn't take the tit.  Skylor would latch on but only for a few minutes and it hurt, I mean it felt like sandpaper on my nipple.  They tried telling me that he had a small tongue tie and he couldn't get that deep latch because I had flat nipples, yes that is a thing and I apparently have it!  They wanted me to come back after  week at being home and they would 'snip' the part that was tied. I shook my head okay and said I would see them the following Wednesday at 11am. I never went. I looked on the internet, did research, looked under his tongue and I didn't really see an issue. So I went out, bought a tube of nipple lube and 2 breast shields. I put that kid on my boob with a nipple shield and I breast feed him. He took to the plastic nipple and I was happy. I was happy for about 2 feedings, that was until an hour after the first feeding he was starving again, and again and again. The kid wouldn't nurse longer than 5 minutes and then fall asleep. I had a plastic nipple spilling out milk everywhere. All over me, him, the new couch, even the dog, okay not really the dog. But it was fucking annoying! So I started pumping. Without making this post longer than it already is I'll say this. Do what is best for you. Do the research, listen to others advice but the most important thing is do what is best for you and YOUR baby because that's all that matters.  I was getting mad at Jer and Trace for no reason during the day because I was so exhausted from nursing every 45 minutes at night that I couldn't function! When all I needed to do was give him a big bottle at night and he would sleep 5-6 hours! Yes, 5-6 hours at 2 weeks old!  

I just went back to work on September 30th and I'm determined to keep up the breast milk for as long as I can. I can't say it will last a year, or 6 months or even 6 more weeks but what I can tell you is that I will do my best because if I stress out about my milk supply dipping or my nipples not being long enough to shove in the back of Skylor's throat we are all going to be living in a very cranky house and nobody's got time for that!

If you are wondering what my work schedule is and when I pump vs. nurse here is how I have it figured out for now.

Mondays-Fridays I work. So the days I'm at work, I pump in the middle of the night (after I feed Sky a bottle) so around 2-3am usually. I then leave for work around 7/715am and pump around 9am and then again at 1pm. Each time I pump at work I get about 7-8 ounces between the two breasts. I then leave work and am home around 430ish where I will nurse if it's time to eat or pump if he's just eaten.  I usually give him a big bottle around 8 and nurse him to sleep around 9-10pm because he's usually really fussy at night and this calms him down.  The weekends are a mess and I just go with the flow because that's how I roll, ya hear!

So with that being said, can you understand why I'm jealous of all you mama's out there that can baby wear and nurse while doing the dishes or bust your boob out in public and strap on your daughter and talk on the phone with the other hand. I have to wear a biconical plastic nipple if I want my son to even recognize that there is a nipple for him to suck on before he has a major meltdown or my other option is sticking my flat nipple in a vacuum that pulls them out so far enough that Jer refers to them as hotdogs! 

So when you look at your clock and its 9am or 1pm you can think of me, because this is where I am at those times. Strapped up to a very expensive machine just trying to live up to my title as a "working mom".