My word of the year

I felt like this needed it's own post, that popping it casually into my 2016 goals wasn't going to end well. Mainly because I had more to say than just here's my word of the year and not fully explain the meaning or purpose behind it.

Over the last 5 years of motherhood I've never chosen a specific word or feeling that I try and focus on. Or perhaps I subconsciously have and that word was really survive! This year I'm doing something different. Alongside my 2016 goals I've been working towards a word that can best be described as something to focus on and to practice wholeheartedly.

: A state of equilibrium or equipoise.

: Mental steadiness or emotional stability; habit of calm behavior, judgment, etc.

: The power or ability to decide an outcome by throwing one's strength, influence, support, or the like, to one side of the other.

Over the years I've attempted to be more present, to give more grace and to stop making promises I simply cannot keep. I've tried to work harder, love stronger and to not say yes to everything. My problem is I try doing all these things at once. My personality is an all or nothing deal. I like habits and order, I thrive on stability yet slightly fiend on the uncertainty of things at times. But I like having plans, knowing there is structure involved but I also like just going and leaving. No set path, just doing.

That's the problem though.

I can't do both. I can't just "know" things will just work out, I have to have a plan and at least attempt to follow the plan. I have to financially be aware of my actions and not whisper but it's just money.

I need to have balance. In all aspects of life.

I need to raise my voice when it's important, when I want them to know to take me seriously, but not when I've had a bad day and just can't take one more ounce of the complaining. That's not fair.

I need to work on my future plans financially because people depend on me like I unknowingly depended on others when I was their age.

I need to find a healthy relationship with food, exercise and cocktails. While all three are amazing, moderation, BALANCE is key!

Cheers to 2016, the year of BALANCE.