20 Questions: 6 Years Old

(birthday sign at school)

For the last few years I've been asking Tracen the same questions on his birthday and today, today he turns 6. So here we are, once again, wondering where the time has gone, and me trying not to ugly cry while thinking about how proud we are of our not so little boy.

December 21, 2016 || 6 years old

1. What's your favorite color? Rainbow, I love all the colors!
2. What's your favorite toy? Bluey- (stuffed animal he got w/Grammy)

3. What's your favorite fruit? Strawberries

4. What's your favorite TV show? Kai Lan and Max and Ruby

5. What's your favorite thing to eat for lunch? Mac and Cheese

6. What's your favorite outfit? Jammies

7. What's your favorite game? Trouble

8. What's your favorite snack? Reese and Oreos

9. What's your favorite animal? Monkey, Orcas, Dolphins and Elephants

10. What's your favorite song? Stressed out (21 Pilots) & Whip Nae Nae

11. What's your favorite book? Baby Animals (all about baby animals book)

12. Who's your best friend? Eli- he was my first friend in Pre-k & I miss seeing him

13. What's your favorite cereal? Cherrios

14. What's your favorite thing to do outside? Swimming

15. What's your favorite drink? Juice

16. What's your favorite holiday? All of them! It's just so exciting

17. What do you take to bed with you at night? Blankey and Bluey

18. What is your favorite thing to eat for breakfast? Butter bread, Strawberries, Waffles and Pancakes

19. What do you want to eat for dinner for your birthday? Mac and Cheese

20. What do you want to be when you grow up? a helper, I want to help people 

A lot of things are still the same from the last few years but its also nice to see the person he's shaping into be. Today Trace had his holiday party at school so Jer and I took the day off work to be there all together. 

Last night we baked and frosted lots of cookies to take in and share with both Kindergarten classes. Ending the night with some mac and cheese for dinner, per his request, and some ice cream sundaes with cousins and friends!

Happy 6th birthday Tracen! Always remember to stay true to your self, let your vibrant personality shine through and always be kind to others. You will go so far in life, I can't wait to see what this next year brings for you!

If you want to see his answers from his 5 year old questions and 4 year old questions here ya go!

5 Tips to Eating Out with Kids

Last night we decided to ditch the meal we had planned and grab some patio beers and dinner to enjoy what is left of this fabulous Michigan summer.

I hear it all the time, how do you eat out with kids? The answer is simple.

We go out to eat with kids.

Happy Third Birthday, Skylor!

Three years ago I waddled into the labor and delivery room at 8pm, praying I was over 5cm dilated. I had been walking around at 4cm for two weeks and taking care of a toddler like that is exhausting! Sure enough I was at a 6 and admitted. About 4 hours later with a push, a laugh and a smile you were here! Born at 37 weeks you were a whopping 8lbs 6 ounces! I was in awe at how easy it all was this time around!

From the beginning Sky has always been an easy, go with the flow baby. He was easy to feed, easy to soothe, and easy to put down for bed.  I wore him everywhere we went, he rarely got upset and took Tracen's 2 year old rough housing like a champ. He will play in his crib for hours, reading books, and playing with his stuffed animals. When he's ready he will yell for you to come get him, giddy with excitement he always says I SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU!

His personality shines through his smile but he's very mellow kid (this may sound like an oxymoron but it's not!) He hates the sun, is very much a homebody, quite the opposite of a true Leo baby! His emotions are big when he is enjoying something, he will squeal with excitement about it being soooooo good or sooooo fun! When you're not expecting it, he will say I need a hug and hug you so hard and smile afterwards. He loves Ducati and Jerek the most, would lay around on the couch with them for days if he could. 

Sky is sweet and light hearted, a lover of food and smiles! Everyone always says Tracen looks like Jerek but it's uncanny how much Skylor and him look alike at this age! The days go by so fast and I remember this very moment as if it was yesterday! I can't believe you are already three baby Sky Sky!

Sometimes I wonder why I do this to myself! Rummaging through all the old photos and videos makes me so incredibly emotional! But also SO happy that I've been documenting it all and not just via photos but through videos too. Videos show stories and emotions that can sometimes be lost in photos years later. We are having his party on Sunday and surprising him with a new helmut and scooter! Like most things with second kids, he gets a lot of hand me downs. I figured hopefully something shiny and new will up his excitement and maybe get him to walk again. He got his cast off last week and has yet to walk, so fingers crossed!

Happy birthday Skylor Vance, to the littlest of my house of boys!

| 1st birthday video  | 2nd birthday video  |

One Year Later

Sunday is Father's Day and this year it also marks one year from when I originally shared one of my most honest and open hearted posts to date. A post I had sitting in my draft folder for months, almost years.

By opening up my heart and letting my fingers do the typing it's ultimately helped others.

Others I didn't know would need it.

As the months go by I watch the boys grow up into tiny humans with ears that tend to not listen and I yell more than I would like to. With summer approaching and our windows are wide open I wonder what the neighbors must think of me.

But I don't care,
I want more.

More kids.
More chaos.
More lives to worry about.

I still open emails from strangers; some not so strange, girls I went to high school and college with, some from a mom group I'm in. They thank me for my post a year ago and how it's helped them find peace between the pain.

Lately many families I watch on YouTube have been struggling with miscarriages. It breaks my heart, makes me think back to a few years ago when I was them.

I don't know if I can say I'm 100% pass everything because as I find myself obsessing over having another baby, tracking ovulation, thinking of names, I also find myself envisioning us right back in the ER room. I'm scared it could happen again, perhaps further along this time.

But this fear will not cripple me, it will not consume me.

In 2011 I got the words Lebe für heute [live for today-in German] tattoo'd on my back left shoulder. A constant reminder that tomorrow is promised to no one and that every day can be filled with happiness if you allow it to be.

I'm not sad this day happens to fall on Father's day this year, it's almost liberating in a sense. Jerek is the dad I dreamed about marrying. One who loves his kids and family with his whole being. While I'm scared it could happen all again, the risk is worth the payoff. Life can be challenging and really fucking hard at times. Secure your helmet tightly on your melon, put your best foot forward and press on. When there is an obstacle in your way you figure out how to move past it. It may take some time but always keep moving, keep living for today.

xx chels

Potty Training

(Tracen a little over 2 sat for hours "trying")

Last week I dropped off forms for Skylor to transfer to a new pre-school that is a block from our home starting in September. One of the rules in bold was must be potty trained. I signed off saying he either was or will be.

They say every child is different and boys are always harder than girls in this department so I've never really worried about it. However I have to get this kid potty trained by September or I'll be driving in two totally different areas for drop offs. 

With Tracen I tried potty training him when I was at home on maternity leave; he was two and a half at the time. At our daycare if your child is 3 and potty trained it's like $5 a day less. It didn't really work out though. He sat on the potty a handful of times when I asked him if he wanted to but that was about it. He never got those feelings or showed any signs that he was interested he just wanted the damn M&M's I waved at him every time he "tried."

6 months later he was close to three and a half and hated taking baths, brushing his teeth or changing his diaper. Basically he was our own Pig-Pen from the Peanuts. I on the other hand didn't want to look like a bad mother. So in all efforts to get him pee on the pot, scrub his butt cheeks and brush his teeth I told him if he didn't do these things he'd get sugar bugs from not brushing, bootay bugs from wearing diapers and bugs in his ears for not bathing.

He would get this look of sheer terror on his face when I'd yell HURRY HURRY WE HAVE TO CHANGE YOUR DIAPER OR THE BOOTAY BUGS WILL START BITING YOU! When I would change his diaper I would pinch his butt the tiniest amount and he'd freak out and say ahhhh huwwy, da bugs gettin me!

Now some of you are probably thinking what a terrible mom I am for scarring my kid into going on the toilet but he was almost three and a half and he was being so lazy about stopping from playing to go pee. He just needed some encouragement or the kid would still be in diapers to this day, I can promise you that! Tracen basically potty trained himself in a week. It just clicked one day. He didn't want the bugs getting him and he felt the urge to pee so he went to the bathroom. I remember one night at the dinner table him running to the bathroom and me yelling after him SIT DOWN! You're not done eating!!! I got up and went to find him, low and behold he was sitting on the pot and said I had to poop or da bugs gonna get me! 

It took him much longer to stop having accidents in the bed or {OUR bed} but he powered through it and he's almost five and a half years old and not wearing diapers (a real fear I had for a while!) You sometimes hear of people potty training their 18 month old and think keep it to yourself lady, no one cares if your daughter is barely walking and pissin on the pot. I'm sure we've all done it, been jealous someone else's child has done it before there's, I know I have, it's natural.

(Tracen [at our old house] trying to potty)

So with Skylor I'm not too worried. He see's us go and asks us if we're pooping every time we enter the bathroom. Hell, I can't even walk into the bathroom without a full parade of people, and animals, following me. He usually goes in the corner, squats and poops and then waddles up to you and says i poop mommy! (always me, never Jer it seems like.)

So with the ever impending transfer school date approaching I'm off to have him pick out his own potty (he won't sit on the kids seat for the toilet yet) and really work with him in the summer. IE: pee outside when you feel it coming! And yes, I'm going to try the old bug in your diaper trick! I just need the kid to pee on the pot while at school, we can tackle the night time thing later on!

Remember when you see people posting on Facebook, shouting to the moon about their 8 month old walking, their 12 month old being potty trained or their 2 year old being fluent in 5 languages they are not yours and you shouldn't compare. Each kid learns things at their own pace and some take more time than others.

If you have any potty training tricks that have helped you leave them below, I'd love to hear! If I don't get this little human potty trained soon maybe I'll just be forced to stay at home with him...but that wouldn't be such a bad thing now would it ;)

20 Questions: 5 years old

[SIDENOTE: these are Jerek's karate clothes from when he was this age!!!]

December is almost over and I've pretty much failed at my vlogmas/blogmas goal [such is life!]
Tracen turned 5 on the 21st and it was such a fun day, minus when I got a migraine that didn't go away for almost a week.

Last year I started a 20 questions post I saw on Pinterest so to keep up with traditions here is this years 20 questions answered by my most favorite 5 year old, Tracen!

[You can read last years 20 questions here]

December 21, 2015 || 5 years old

1. What's your favorite color? GREEN

2. What's your favorite toy? GOOD QUESTION, HMM, I LIKE MY STUFFED ANIMAL GEORGE THE MOST

3. What's your favorite fruit? BLUEBERRIES, I LOVE THOSE THINGS, THEY'RE AWESOME!

4. What's your favorite TV show? MAX AND RUBY, I JUST LOVE THOSE GUYS!

5. What's your favorite thing to eat for lunch? LUNCHABLES ON BRING YOUR ON LUNCH TO SCHOOL

6. What's your favorite outfit? A GREEN SHIRT WITH LONG SLEEVES

7. What's your favorite game? I SPY

8. What's your favorite snack? PRETZELS 

9. What's your favorite animal? MONKEY

10. What's your favorite song? TWINKLE TWINKLE

11. What's your favorite book? "WHAT MAKES A RAINBOW?"- I LIKE IT BECAUSE I LIKE RAINBOWS AND COLORS, COLORS ARE PRETTY, THEY ARE DIFFERENT JUST LIKE ALL THE PEOPLE IN THE WORLD!

12. Who's your best friend? SKY!

13. What's your favorite cereal? CHEERIOS , NO MILK 

14. What's your favorite thing to do outside? SWING ON THE SWINGS 

15. What's your favorite drink? APPLE JUICE AND LEMONADE

16. What's your favorite holiday? THANKSGIVING-CAUSE WE GIVE THANKS TO EVERYBODY WE LOVE

17. What do you take to bed with you at night? BLUE BLANKEY- BUT YOU LEFT IT AT SCHOOL

18. What is your favorite thing to eat for breakfast?  PLAIN WAFFLE

19. What do you want to eat for dinner for your birthday?  MACARONI 

20. What do you want to be when you grow up? A GROWN UP KID, CAUSE I WANT TO BE FRIENDS WITH YOU BUT STILL HAVE FUN

If you read last years responses you'll see some things haven't change! His sweetness is still there and his love for his family is stronger than ever! Hug those kids man, they grow up wayyy too fast!

Happy 5th Birthday Tracen

Keeping it short and simple today because I have a birthday boy I need to eat ice cream with!

5 years old, how is that even possible! I've been feeling really emotional lately about this number so you can just watch the short video I made for his birthday instead of listening to me cry about how grown up he is! If you haven't read his early arrival birth story you can read that here, an unexpected but much anticipated early Christmas gift!

I also suggest watching his 4th birthday video maybe first for a bunch of throw backs as well! You can watch it here.

If you share a December 21st birthday with Trace, happy birthday!

How to raise your second child better

People always say you shouldn't compare one kid to another. They will always be different. Tracen and Skylor are almost exactly 2.5 years apart and I'd like to think I parent them exactly the same. The truth is I don't.

Since Tracen was our first and with about .01% of our friends having kids I basically winged the hell out of everything. I walked into Target and legit just scanned stuff that looked like we would need to take care of a baby. I didn't look at reviews, didn't ask any other moms and barely took the stroller for a spin around the store before registering it. This is an absolute result as to why I hated almost all of the baby stuff I had with Tracen. When I found out I was pregnant with Skylor, I researched and read every single review there was. People would have thought I was a first time mom.

The differences between Sky and Trace begun the day I gave birth to Skylor.  Their births could not be more different and the days after were 100% opposite as well. {Here are Tracen and Skylor's birth stories if you haven't read them.}

Tracen never latched on so I made the decision to strictly pump. And pump my brains until I couldn't any longer I did. That shit is EXHAUSTING. With Sky I tried much harder with nursing and was able to stick with it longer but it was still a struggle and I still ended up pumping all the time. With Tracen he slept in his crib from day one and we WOKE him up to eat every three hours (dumb dumb dumb!) With Sky we bed shared and co-slept and we fed him only when HE woke up (hello 5 hour stretches of sleep from about week 2!)

With Tracen we made him a different meal other than ours every time he ate, with Sky he eats what we eat and eats EVERYTHING IN SIGHT. With Trace I wore him a hand full of times with Sky he's constantly strapped to me. I was the one that put Tracen to bed from the beginning and 99% of the time I still do or he has a complete, over the top meltdown. With Sky, we take turns but most nights Jerek puts him to bed. On the nights that I do theres no fight from him, just hugs and him BEGGING me to put him in his bead.

If you talk to parents that have more than one child most would probably tell you this is normal. You learn tips and tricks from the first one and swear you're going to do things differently the next time around. The problem I have is when people say that they are going to raise them "better."

The difference between the two shouldn't be measured and 

compared in a way that they are the same, because they are not. 

You should do things deferentially to make things work cohesively with your growing family, not because you think you eff'ed it up with the first one but because you are constantly learning. No one can quite say they know what they are doing their first time around, even if you are Jamie Grayson or Michelle Duggar.

I have no regrets with the way I've raised Tracen, we get complimented DAILY on how polite and respectful he is. Although meals and bedtime are a struggle we're working on it! I knew with Skylor that I wanted to change these two areas and for good reasons. Not because I wanted Sky to be the 'better eater' or the 'better sleeper' but because I've learned things from the first time around. I cringe when I hear people talk like this, as if you made a mistake with your first and are trying to redeem yourself or something?

Parenting is like being in school 24/7. You learn things in your freshmen year and apply them to your sophomore year {or hopefully you do.} You are constantly studying for the next test they are going to pull on you, cramming late night for an exam and you always have to be on your toes in case they ask you things like 'why don't you have a wiener like me mommy?' or 'how did I get in your belly?' Cause that shit happens, a lot!

Just remember that if you don't know what the hell you're doing the first time around, you might not the next time around either! Do know that you have the option to start over the next day and work on things. If all else fails, grab a glass of wine and watch these, because I have no idea what I'm ever doing either!

Losing

I've tried writing this post many times. I always end up selecting all and pushing the delete button. Skylor is my dream baby, one that I never had dreams about. I remember having dreams about Tracen, dreams about my first baby, about how fun it would be, how hard it would be, how I would be as a mother and how he would look.

Skylor was a dream I was scared to have. It wasn't that usual how could I love another child the way I love Tracen scared, it was something internally that scared me, something that I wasn't sure if I could go through again.

June 19th 2012 is a day I will always remember. Today I'm choosing to remember it as not a bad day, just a hard day.

A month before all of this I was getting ready for work and just knew, knew something was different. As I drove to work I stopped and grabbed a few pregnancy tests. Unsure if I could wait till I got home that day I took one at work and then one when I got home. Both were positive within seconds. Tracen was 15 months old at the time. I wrapped them up with a note and had Tracen hand them to Jerek when he got home. As I watched him unwrap them I had a pit in my stomach, the size of a bowling ball it felt like. How were we going to afford another in daycare, another in diapers. His eyes got big and he stared at me and then a smile peeked through. I was happy but scared, I could tell he was too, I'm sure we were both thinking the same thing.

I did the math and knew I was 6 weeks pregnant, I'd be due almost exactly on Tracen's birthday. Over the next few weeks I felt strange and uncomfortable but continued to go to work and live our lives. I knew I couldn't get an ultrasound until 8 weeks so I just waited to make the appointment. A few more weeks had passed and I started spotting. I googled what seemed like for hours on end and there were two outcomes, bleeding from implantation or loss. For some reason I didn't worry too much. I'm not sure why but I never called the doctor. Perhaps I was scared she would confirm the thoughts swirling around in my head.

A week later I was with Jerek's mom and sister at their family business and it started, I felt everything happening and my emotions came pouring out. In a split second I was forced to tell them our exciting news with tears of sadness and sorrow streaming down my face. Jerek and I went to the ER where they left me in limbo. I was 10 weeks at the time but only measuring at 6. I was confused then at how that could be. Unsure of what was going on they never said if they heard a heartbeat or not. They wanted me to come back in a week to see if a heartbeat developed. I'm not sure why but I didn't question anything, I just did what they said. I went home and cried unsure of what to do, to not do, to think, to not think. I remember going to church the Sunday before our appointment on Monday and praying, if this is meant to be, please make it happen...but if it isn't I will be okay, we will be okay..and thank you, thank you for Tracen. That was it. That's all that I could really do.

The next day it was confirmed that the baby had stopped developing at 6 weeks but for some reason my body was still holding onto the pregnancy. Why was I putting myself through all this for the last month?! That was something I couldn't understand, it was like my mind, body and soul were trying to hold onto something that wasn't there any longer. The DNC was scheduled for the next day since my body wasn't letting go on it's own. I remember sitting in the pre-op room alone since Jerek wasn't allowed back there. The nurses were talking and laughing about their weekends, about their summer plans while I'm laying behind a curtain crying and alone. I remember thinking how rude and insensitive they were. I know now that I was just being critical of it all and they meant nothing.

I woke up and felt just like I thought I would, empty. The days after got better. We celebrated Father's day, then my birthday, then labor day weekend. The months moved by and Halloween came followed by Thanksgiving and then Tracen's birthday. That day was hard. While excited to celebrate Tracen turning two I couldn't help but think about what could have been. At the same time I didn't want myself getting caught up in the sadness because I was actually pregnant again! I was only a few weeks so I didn't want to share the excitement with people yet.

Scared for our first ultrasound we went in together, hand in hand. We saw and heard a healthy heartbeat at 9 weeks with a due date of August 19 2013. Skylor was born on July 29, 2013, 3 weeks early at a whopping 8 lbs 6 ounces and was healthy as could be.

My heart continually grows and aches and grows some more and while June 19th 2012 is a distant memory without this bad hard experience, I wouldn't be the person I am today, the mother to dream baby Skylor.

I share this story not for sympathy but as a way to cope. Not so much anymore for myself because I'm in a really good place with it now but because when I was going through this I read countless blog posts, articles, and Googled things for days, trying to find answers that really didn't exist. What I found was this happens more than people talk about, sometimes there is genetically something wrong and other times there are no answers to be found. Most of my family and friends are reading this right now and never knew anything about it, it wasn't something I was ready to share. You may be reading this because you too are going through the same heartache and are Googling keywords, fighting back the tears and that's okay too.

Easter Basket Ideas for the Little Ones

The other day I asked Tracen what his favorite holiday, knowing he would say Easter. Most kids would say their birthday or the standard Christmas but not my kid. Ever since he could walk the kid has been obsessed with Easter egg hunts, he loves them! I mean straight up LOVES them! He has even asked to have them for his birthday and I totally blew it this past year. No worries though, his 5th birthday will be soley centered around one, I've already started brain storming ideas!

As all holidays we really try and stick to a budget, Easter is no exception, even if Tracen is a die hard fan! Like buying for Christmas stockings I love finding a few cute things to put in the boys' Easter baskets. Skylor was only 7 months last year so this year should be more fun filing his!

\\Camelbak| Book | Sunnies | PJ's | Bath Crayons//

If I've learned anything over these last 18 months its you get the same amount of things and try and do the same thing for both kids, otherwise Tracen basically looses his shit! Lately he's been running into the family room screaming and sitting in the corner saying 'nobody loves me enough to give me "_______" (insert dramatic item). Trace is so so sweet and always wants to share with Sky but on the chance he is having an off day it's a full on mess! If Skylor has a orange bowl with grapes and HE wanted that orange bowl and not the purple one, I WILL hear about it. It's usually in the form of screaming and throwing the bowl full of grapes on the floor while he runs and pouts in the corner sobbing 'no one wuvs me enough to give me de orange bowllllll' hysteria I tell ya! 

\\Headphones| Sippy| Book| PJ's| Bubble Bath//

This year I'm going to be putting together a little scavenger hunt for them to find their baskets in the morning with clues. My mom did this for us a few years{maybe more, sorry mom I forget!} but I know I loved it so hopefully the boys will to! Of course I'll also have some of their favorite candy filled in the little plastic eggs that we have far too many of but I do love a good Easter basket shopping!

Have some other Easter basket ideas, let me in them!

XX

Things I'm Sick of Saying

Last week I posted about shit my toddler says. While most of you probably nodded your heads and realized these damn toddlers are all the same some of you were probably saying 'Chelsea, what about us, what about the shit WE say!'

Don't worry, I didn't forget about you, ohhh I promise I didn't forget about you! If I told you I felt like I was turning into my mother would you believe me? Probably. Because I am. Sometimes under my breath I mutter, because I said so! Or because I'm the mom Tracen, OKAYYYYY!' Lately I've been busting out the old 'go ask your dad' card! If I got paid every time I said the following things I would probably be as rich as Kelsey Zachow.

"We don't hug Skylor's neck, you're going to hurt him"

"Stop screaming. You're inside, if you want to scream go outside" 

"It's time to go read books and go to bed"

"No, you've watched enough Peppa Pig"

"We don't stick our head in the potty, it's yucky in there"

"Stop touching your wiener."

"Tracen, put clothes on"

"Did you just bootay toot?"

"There's no way your're still hungry!?'

"You ate all the fruit dude, sorry!"

"We don't eat dog food Skylor"

"No, you had enough ice cream."

"Please stop jumping on the couch"  x7357456078247325756745

"Honestly, what more could you possibly eat right now Tracen!?"

"Don't touch mommy's makeup"

"Stop whipping your face on my clothes"

"We don't play in the trash Skylor"

"We don't throw blocks"

"We don't throw books"

"We don't throw anything"

"Put it down please, I don't want glitter everywhere"

"The park is closed"

"The Slurpee store is closed"

"Kai Lan is on vacation...still"

"Can I have my pillow back?"

"Give Trey his sippy back Sky"

"Put the cushions back on the couch"

"Can everyone just leave me alone for two seconds!!!!!!"

"Can I pee alone pleaseeeee!"

"I'm sorry but I can't hold you both, get milk and peel a banana guys."

"Flush the toilet"

"Put the seat down when you're done."

"You sure do poop a lot."

"Sky, how did you blow your pants out...AGAIN!"

"NOT IT!"

"Whats for dinner" (haha)

"There's no where to get married"

"I wish we had more money"

"I'm sick of doing dishes"

"Do we haveeee to watch Ancient Aliens..."

"All you boys drive me insane! Yes Ducati, even you!"

"Stop kicking my chair"

This post might be 100 pages long if I continue so I'm going to stop there! While all these boys drive me crazy on the daily I wouldn't have it any other way! I know one day its going to be me and Jerek and we're going to be bored as hell driving to colleges and different cities trying BEGGING our kids to hang out with us. So for now I'll just complain on here until the time comes and ya'll can tell me that you told me so!

One.

365 days ago I smiled and laughed as I pushed you into this world just as July 29th had begun. You've been making me gush with the same amount of joy ever since. I can't get over how much you've grown and changed over these past 12 months, it seems so surreal. The love and admiration you have in your eyes when you stare at Tracen is truly amazing. You look up {literally} to him with such a gaze in your eyes it makes us smile for you. Tracen also adores you to pieces, alternatively we have to pry his grimy little hands off your face before he squeezes you to bits. {Sorry about that for future reference}

Here is Skylor's birth story. A story that was so easy to write, an experience I would relive forever because of the calmness I felt that night. The first thing people noticed were your cheeks. Those things were huge! I still smoosh my face into them as soon as I get home from work, when you wake up in the morning or your beaming with a toothy grin on your face! You like to watch people very intensely, and want to do everything Tracen does. These past 12 months have been some of the best times shared together as a family of four. Everyone always says it but, I don't know what life would be like without you in it. This weeks video is dedicated to you sweet baby boy, happy birthday and may the next year be just as fun, exciting and joyful as this last year was.

WEIGHT: {check up soon}

HEIGHT/LENGTH: {check up soon}

{Look how big he is in this thing!!!}

SLEEPING: I jinxed myself last month because teething started up again and you are sleeping like a colic-y baby. We. Are. Exhausted. and so are you :(

EATING: Everything and anything! You're refusing bottles and only want sippy, just like your brother :)

FAVORITE MOMENTS: There are too many to list so watching the video is a must!

LEAST FAVORITE MOMENTS: The sadness in your face when you don't feel well. It hurts me more than it probably hurts you.

FIRSTS: You started to walk with a baby walker and he smiles whenever he does! Walking from couch to table and back. Crawling up the stairs {oh lord!} You recently started humming and it's like you hear us singing or the music being played and are just joining in on the party!

LIFE CURRENTLY : Is wonderful. Stressful, but wonderful. I now have a 3.5 and 1 year old #crazy. We are working away on projects for the house and at work. Trying to enjoy summer and long nights together. I still wear you around the house and while running errands, I enjoy that closeness between you and me and know it won't always be like that. You're back to sleeping in our bed most nights {and so is Tracen} so its a bed full of blonde cuties once again. This summer passed by extremely fast and we love being outside together. My favorite thing about this year are the vlogs though. I've watched them over and over even though I'm the one that puts them together! I cherish these moments because they go so fast, we are so busy and I never ever want to forget them.

I'm writing this for me as, I do most of these posts, but I do hope one day you read this and can feel the emotions and love pouring out of me for you. Happy First Birthday Skylor!

Eleven Month Update

WEIGHT: heavy {scale-less this month}

HEIGHT/LENGTH: tall {didn't measure this month}

SLEEPING: Dare I say it without ruining this glorious thing! Sky is sleeping 12 hours about 90% of the time! I mean seriously where did this come from?! I'm not even mad because it took Tracen until he was 15 months old to sleep through the night! I'm thinking it's because he's eating MASSIVE amounts of food and crawling like he's on a mission. All these activities must be wearing him out!

{Twins? How cute would they be if this was for real!!!}

EATING: E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G! And I mean it too! We are doing it totally different with him and just giving him what we are eating {in smaller portions and pieces obvi}. With Tracen we made him a different meal than us. {Do not ask me WHY because to this day I have absolutely NO idea but it's kicked us in the ass now.} He loves meat, ground turkey, pork loin, steak, chicken {again, something Tracen won't touch}.Sky eats any flavor of yogurt, all fruits and veggies, rice, noodles and his favorite, veggie fries. Bottles are getting less and less and making me think I'm forgetting something when really he just don't want them anymore.

FAVORITE MOMENTS: You are so much happier now that you are mobil! Crawling to the toy box, to the kitchen or to the couch and being able to interact with us has brought such job in your smile and laughter it makes me so excited for you. You're playing with Tracen even more because you can get to where ever he is now. This also has me stressing because I need to baby proof the kitchen cabinets {if we ever get them restrained & put back on!}

LEAST FAVORITE MOMENTS: Although I'm happy he's crawling, I'm sad because he wants to be held so much less. Also, his poor little knees are getting so red from the carpet.

FIRSTS: This month SOOOOO much has changed! I think this has been the month that he's changed the most in fact! He's crawling and fast at it! Pulling himself up to the couch and toy box{the crib was just lowered as well}. He's eaten a ton of new food and started drinking a few ounces a day of water, which he loves {Tracen hated}. I already mentioned the sleeping through the night almost all the time now! The sadest thing is that he's loosing his baby chuck, his rolls & the baby smell. {tears}

LIFE CURRENTLY : 
As I already said it, this month he's grown the most! From crawling, pulling himself up and standing to sheer belly laughter and smiles he's been so happy to be around! The teeth this month hasn't been nearly as bad & I think he's finally feeling full after meals! Tracen has become potty trained over night and Skylor started crazy crawling in the same week! I designed Skylors first birthday invites all on my own this year and will be sending those out this week {GAH! That is so soon!} We've bought and put together a new swing set and a new pool. Our backyard is officially ready for summer! I currently am on a mini-summer vacation from work and am of until July 7th {jealous?} so this next week will be filled with friends, family & hopefully a few BBQ's! Stay tuned for the 12 month update, I'm sure it will be a real tear jerker!

The Secret to Raising a Toddler

That's mine.

But I don't like eggs.

One more show mummy.

Pick me up.

Put me down.

I said peaseeeee.

Tanks.

I thursty.

You silly old birdddd.

BOOTAYYYY TOOOTSSS.

You sad mummy?

Don't be sad.

I gonna hit you.

No I lub you da most mummy.

Top it daddy.

I want mummy.

Go away.

You beautiful.

Kyler that's MINEEE.

But I'm not tired.

You go to bed mummy, not me.

NOOOOOOOOO.

But I won't do it again.

Dis is how I shake my bootay.

Kyler is awake.

Kyler won't top crying.

You mean mummy.

But WHYYYYY.

Juice pease.

Rub my back.

One more book.

Just one more show.

Uh mummy, did you forget my juice?

I lub you mummy.

Ah yes, the other language that I speak fluently. Toddler.

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When Tracen was 2, I wasn't sure why people said the terrible two's were hard.
MY two year old slept through the night, said please, thank you and played well with others.
Until Sky came.
The game changed when he was two and a half  and we brought home a new baby.

Newborns and toddlers are two totally different breeds.

Tracen started acting out, hitting, getting out of bed every night and not listening to either of us.
It's taken time for us to really figure him.
When he freaks out and says 'I gonna hit you!'
I can usually pinpoint why.

---

I've read books, blogs and listened to other peoples advise.
I've put him in his room for a time out to think about things {alone}.
I've put him in his room for a time out to think about things and sat there with him.
I've yelled at him {unfortunately who hasn't}.
I've gotten down on my knees{on his level} and calmly asked what is wrong & why is he mad.

---

None of these have worked for a long period of time.
Until I became the toddler whisperer. It's true, ask Jerek!

{Insert huge meltdown, with screaming, trying to hit me, & tears, lots and lots of tears.}

SECRET: I get face to face with him and look him in his eyes and tell him we need to calm down and to take 3 deep breaths (because he's three). His attention is then solely on me, my eyeballs and the fact that I just told him to do something that he knows how to do. The way he takes those three deep breathes is the funniest thing I've ever seen! His body is so stressed out still, he's usually still crying & trying to look at me while trying to breath all at once! This turns into a whimper & then squeals while exhaling {I can't fully explain this, one day I'll get it on camera!}. He starts to laugh after the first breath and smiles, even through the tears. I tell him two more and I take the next breath with him and exhale. 'Last one, lets make it really really big buddy!' and we do it together.

TADA! 

Guess what just happen? Not only did he totally forget why he was popping a blood vessel for no reason, but him and I did it together. This is the most important thing I've learned. When he has a meltdown, I have a mommy meltdown, I can't help it. I freak out, {sometimes yell} and it gets nothing accomplished. We are not perfect people but if we can figure out what works perfectly for us, we are then better, more effective parents. I know that this tactic may not work next week or next month, but it works for now, and that is what is important and it's taken time to figure it out!

Some days I wonder 'can a girl get a redo, this kid is nutssss!'
and some days I never want to put him to bed!
But every day I wonder, where has the time has gone.
How is already 8pm, how is it already June, how is he already three.

-----------

Ten Month Update

WEIGHT: 20 lbs

HEIGHT/LENGTH: 29.5 inches

SLEEPING: There have been a few more nights here and there that he's slept through the night but that is really a hit or miss. Usually I still have the big one climbing in bed with us on nights he sleeps through!

EATING: Some things he's eaten or at least tried this past month
{noodles, small pieces of grilled cheese, toast w/jelly, quinoa, rice, plain shredded chicken & green beans.} All of these are pretty new to him as I was sticking to mostly fruit and veggies in the purees. He hasn't been liking the noodles and drops them right after he picks them up. I'm not sure if it's the texture or what?

FAVORITE MOMENTS: I honestly just love when I'm wearing him and he just stares at me or when I walk into a room and he hears my voice and turns towards me. He's playing with Tracen and his toys more & more. Tracen always thinks Sky is trying to hug him, but really he's trying to snatch a toy from his little paws. Tracen is on real good behavior lately and is being THE sweetest with Sky! For the past few weeks he's had me read big brother books at bedtime and always comments how he is the best big brother to Sky! I hope Sky knows how much he truly is loved by Tracen!

LEAST FAVORITE MOMENTS: He's been extremely fussy lately and nothing is soothing him but sticking his entire hand in his mouth and chomping on it.We've been giving him teething tablets, Tylonol, teether rings, my hand and nothing seems to work! Poor kid, I honestly can't say I've ever had a tooth ache so I can't even imagine what it must feel like! Look at those thaaangggsss!!!

FIRSTS: Last month he had the bottom two and the middle right and the one next to it {I have no clue what they are really called!} Anyways, he got the middle left and the one next to that. So that means 4 up top and two on the bottom. I think the other two on the bottom are getting ready to break through due to his crabbiness. He is getting really mad that he can't crawl so he rolls..everywhere! Jer went up north for 2 nights a few weekends ago so it was my first time being alone with just the boys and we all missed daddy so much! I'm leaving for two nights today with my mom to a bed and breakfast and I won't lie, I'm scared the boys are going to be a handful for Jer! Thankfully his sister and basically second mom will be here having a slumber party and hopefully keeping Tracens mind off the fact that I'm not around!

LIFE CURRENTLY : 
I say this every month but it's been crazy and this month has been no exception! We finished the half bath makeover, remodeled the dining room, and started the remodel on the kitchen cabinets. We spent hours on the back patio with pillows, blankets, toys and new lighting. We had a great Mother's Day spent with the boys, my mom and Jerek's mom & sister. We've had loads of ice cream, stayed up late nights and had a really great Memorial Day Weekend. I started a new 12 week workout program which is making me real crabby and pleasant to be around but I can feel the burn so I know it's working {more to come on that at a later time.} It's crazy to think that I need to start thinking about preparing for another first birthday but I probably should soon! I love these boys so hard sometimes I just stare and smile!

Nine Month Update

WEIGHT: 19 lbs (30%)

HEIGHT/LENGTH: 29.25 inches (85%)
(Didn't gain much weight but grew almost 2 inches in a month!!!)

SLEEPING: Jerek is convinced he will never sleep through the night, like he was convinced with Tracen. But hey, 15 months came around and Tracen finally started sleeping through the night! It really doesn't bother me because getting up once and soothing him back to sleep in our bed is nothing compared to what it took to get Tracen back to sleep! I honestly would bed share until the boys start popping morning woods and not knowing what to do with them..TMI? Sorry guys! But for real, I don't know what is more enjoyable than waking up to these guys in the morning! Hello cutiebears! {minus I never have any space} Side note; doesn't Sky look like the old man from Up below?!

EATING: I'm still making purees but I'm really only giving him these in the morning with his oatmeal. I've been doing some research and asking the ladies at the daycare about what to feed this chubby little human because he's always hungry. Looking in Tracen's baby book would be far too difficult seeing as it's in a box somewhere in the basement that has yet to be unpacked, so! So far I've given him really small pieces of veggie straws, grilled cheese, noodles, bread and bananas. He's doing great at picking things up with his pincher fingers grab and really enjoying "real person food" as I call it.

FAVORITE MOMENTS: Sky laughs and claps and says 'dadada' to everything. He wants so badly to run when Tracen runs because he moves his legs so fast when he watches his brother it makes me so excited to see them grow up together! We switched out his carry car seat to the permanent one that stays in my car so we have to remember to always have a sling with us because carrying that kid is backbreaking! I love the snuggles I get when I wear him though. He holds me and I melt! I will probably wear that kid until he says 'mom I'm too big for this.' Hopefully thats not for a while!

[my tub isn't dirty, it's just Crayola bath crayons that SUCK and don't come off as easy as they say!}

LEAST FAVORITE MOMENTS: The balance of life right now. Moving with small children is hard. There is no sugar coating it. We are beyond lucky to have family close that watched the boys while the other family members helped move us because we couldn't have done it without everyone! The part that is hard is that we are both full-time working parents with both of our jobs important to us and we're both are busy right now. After being up at 530/6am, working till 4/430, coming home, making dinner and doing the nightly routine, it's hard to set time aside to work on remodeling things in the house. At the same time when you want to work on the house you really just want to roll on the floor and play with blocks and snort like Peppa Pig until bedtime...just me? Alrighty then. We're doing the best we can right now but the days are tough and both boys need us so the balance is hard.

FIRSTS: Sky has slept through the night TWICE now! Que the music and happy dance...JUST KIDDING because when ONE baby sleeps through the night and there are TWO in your house it seems like one is just never enough {that doesn't even make sense to me, I'm not sure why I wrote that}. Anywho, I wrote these down because I have no brain and would forget otherwise mmmkkk! The night of April 11, honestly, no idea why he did as he went to bed at his normal time. I however was up every 2 hours checking on him or in Tracens room rubbing his back because he wasn't feeling good. Then Friday {4/25} and I'm convinced it's because he was up till 10pm while we furniture shopped at Art Van till 930pm. Regardless, Tracen then crawled into our bed because he peed his, lovely. More firsts are TEETH! he has his bottom two and then is top right, and the one next to it. So yes, he looks super weird as he doesn't have his top front two, just the top right one and the one on the side of it. No clue how that worked out but the other top two are about to pop through those tiny red gums any day now, poor guy. The kid is holding his bottle and not even needing me for that anymore! Sometimes I like it because I can give him a bottle and I can unload the dishwasher or peephole he holds it! But other times it makes me sad when I try and feed, he pushes me away!

LIFE CURRENTLY : 
As I've already said it but it's busy. It's hectic. It's a cluster feck really. Between trying to convince Tracen it's a good idea that he takes his massive man dumps in the toilet and not in his diaper because I'm sick of wiping his ass spread eagle we are doing other things like remodeling a entire house, working full-time, trying to work out/get in shape all while trying to grow these little humans the best way we can. The new house is amazing with so much more room Tracen get ride his bike from room to room if he wants. And he does because I really don't feel like saying no and putting up a fight. Gotta pick your battles here folks! Sky is growing and learning so much it makes me smile ear to ear with a good feeling that I'm doing it right, whatever right may be. Life is good, I really can't complain. Oh wait, where is summer again? That's right, that is me not complaining about this dumb Michigan weather that will just not go away!